I had a crazy dream last nite. I could make it into a movie, well if I was a better writer, had a ton of money, knew anything about making movies, and had a hundred other pieces fall into place.
Well in this movie dream I got hired to be part of a private security team for a very strange house. This house was some sort of private mental hospital. It was an old large house in a completely residential part of town. This was no ordinary mental hospital though. Some of the patients there were part zombie part vampire, or at least that was my guesses about what was wrong with them. The whole place had about 10 rooms in it, so it was a pretty small number of patients, but we were warned about people coming to the house from a house half a block up the street. There was one particular person we were supposed to be very carefull of. We only had a vague description of this person, but we knew exactly where they would be coming from because they lived in a small place just up the steet 50 yards or so. We were told that we would certainly have to use excessive force if this character ever tried to get close to the house. They werent’ joking about it either, we were give bats with nails in the beating end and told to use them.
For days the job was just very odd, and everyone was always very nervous about the neighbor showing up. One day it finally happened, it was Shaun White shooting at the house with a blowgun. I left the house and went after him with my nails bat. After repeated blows he was finally down but seemed more annoyed by all the holes in his body rather than actually hurt. I got on top of him and put him in a pretty tight choke with the bat and literally tried to choke the life out of him. Minutes passed and he was still not dead, I tried to break his neck but he still had a little bit of life left in him. When he seemed to be on the verge of dying i left him in the snow and headed back to the house.
By the time I got back some of the other guards knew what was going on and they knew that Shaun White was not dead and would be arriving at the house any minute, they were frantically trying to prepare for it. Sinbad (was one of the other guards) led me to a patients room which was called the safe room. It was an old woman who did not speak or move, just layed in her bed stairing at the ceiling, all the time. Sinbad was looking for something in her closet, I thought it was odd that we break into a patients room, but he said the woman would not even know we were there. He got some kind of weapon from the closet and he was ready. Shaun White got into the house and a long battle took place but he was finally killed.
After that took place we were looking for the phone but it was gone. Walking the hallways we hear some odd noised coming from behind one door. We go in to find one of the guards (another actor who i just can’t think of his name, he looks kinda like Will as in Will and Grace) and Jennie Mork sitting 10 feet away from each other having phone sex. He stole the phone and hooked up 2 in his room so they could have phone sex right there. We broke that up and got our phone back.
Later a bunch of the guards were sitting around talking about what had happened and talking about some of the weird shit that had gone on in that house in the past. The one thing that I remember was a dog in the house and several of the patients would only eat watermelon that tasted like meat. They happened to have some and some of the guards were trying it, most would spit it out and swear it was the worst shit they’d ever tasted. I started eating some and kinda enjoyed it. One of the female guards (Cameron Diaz) asked me (being the new guy) if I would ever work as a private security guard again. I looked at her and said I really like the meaty watermelon in a very end of the movie – the once good guy is now bad guy, make you jump outta your seat, there’s gotta be a sequel type of way.
Right at that very second of the dream my alarm clock went off, it was set on radio and the volume was WAY up. It might have been lex and terry and they were talking to somone on a bad phone connection, it sounded almost like screaming and was very scratchy. It was almost as if it was a background scream at the very end of my dream. I woke up and my whole body jumped like i’ve never jumed out of sleep before. i bed most of my body was a foot off the bed.